whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
Randomize
