I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
Randomize
