well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
Randomize
