she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
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