I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
Randomize
