You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
Randomize
