I would never have sex with Danny Devito!! JSYK.
After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
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