put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
I'm drunk. And at a vegan cafe. You would hate it. Don't tell my hipster friend but I kinda hate it too.
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
Randomize
