you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
Randomize
