He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
Randomize
