Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
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