Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
Randomize
