Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
Randomize
