You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
He kissed a someone with a penis
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
Randomize
