it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
I saw a penis in my cereal this morning. do you think my cheerios are like professor trelawney's tea leaves?
one can only hope.
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
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