I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
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