At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
Sitting in bed reading a porn novel off my phone and accidentally just made Siri start reading the most graphic part aloud. FUN FIRST NIGHT WITH THE NEW ROOMIE.
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
