also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
my phone is just a graveyard for last nights mistakes. at least it's giving me hints as to where i was though, i'm like carmen sandiego
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
Pants are for mortals
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
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