I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
Randomize
