I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
The ass gains better be worth it
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