Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize
