hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
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