You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
Randomize
