i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
He has the fingertips of a God
Randomize
