I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
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