put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
The good thing about walking home in a dress on sunday morning is that people mistake my walk of shame as a walk to God.
Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
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