I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
He just canceled. I got an amazing new dress and now he’s decided he’s spending the weekend with his family
In other news, there’s some rando in an expensive hotel bar who is going to get very lucky tonight because I love the way this dress makes my tits look. Want to help me find him?
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