There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
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