I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
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