I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
Randomize
