There was a lot of him and a little penis
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
Just killed a snake in my bed! And by killed I mean hit repeatedly with my fist. And by snake I mean a lump in the covers. And I pissed my pants.
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
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