Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
At the funeral we'll say nice things, like "She was delightfully extreme, psychotically wonderful, and could probably drink all you fuckers under the table."
That's literally the perfect eulogy
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
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