sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
I wear drunk well.
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
Randomize
