I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Randomize
