it was like having sex with a tree stump
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
You brought string cheese to the strip club
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
Randomize
