Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
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