Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
Randomize
