I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
I woke up to the sound of gentle rain, only to realize I was laying under a urine trough in the men's restroom. Fuck you, bourbon. Fuck you.
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
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