I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
Randomize
