good news, i'm not pregnant. bad news, i had sex with ***** last night and i think i'd rather be pregnant
Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
Your cock deserves a montage
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
Randomize
