You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guilt😘
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
Randomize
