I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
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