careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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