Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
Randomize
