We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
Randomize
