It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
Pretty sure he proposed because my house is awesome. His ass is a ten and he's offering to pay more than half the bills... How expensive is a divorce really? I mean I could probably put up with him for three or four years but a lifetime is a big ask.
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