She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
At least be KIND OF sobering up before you text me, I've told you before I don't speak vodka unless I've been drinking it with you.
PS WHY wasn't I drinking it with you? Dick.
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
Randomize
