do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
Randomize
