they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
Gonna post on craigs list missed connections - "I was that really drunk bitch that threw up in your car. I'd like to pay for detailing"
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
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