There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
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