it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
Sorry my hands just texted you
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
Randomize
