Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
Randomize
